jozjozjoz.com :: brain barf

If you're going to have a dog, don't be a dumbass.

We decided that we were going to take my ring back to the jeweler today to have a new sapphire matched & put in to replace the MIA rock.

As Hunny and I were heading home this afternoon to get the ring, we were surprised to see a big ol' rottie running all over the street. She was wearing a harness (which was obviously doing her absolutely no good at the moment) and was running all over the (very busy) street, nearly being hit by cars on more than one occasion.

Our friend Sharky the Kid (you may have seen her comments here and there) has several neighbors with rotties, so we called her to ask if she'd call and check that the doggies were at home. When I got to her block, her neighbors were outside saying their doggies were ok. They were still very concerned and got in their car to see if they could figure whose rottie was loose.

Meanwhile, Hunny was back by the park, trying to chase the loose rottie down & keep her out of the street, as well as off of the baseball field where many children were playing their little league games.

In the end, the loose rottie DID run into the baseball fields (ACK), which turned out to be a good thing. Her dad was watching one of the baseball games.

It turns out he had come to watch a game but did not realize that it was a "no dogs allowed" field, so he left her in his truck with the windows rolled halfway down. Of course, she freaked out and jumped out of the window & that's where we found her roaming the streets. I'm not sure if I feel good that the not-loose-anymore rottie was going home with someone so dumb. Oh well.

It was worth 30 minutes of our day to know that the rottie was not going to be roadkill. Happy endings rule.

No rock

[sob]

Do you think I'll ever stop looking?

Everytime I walk around my office, or down the halls, or up the stairs, or across the parking lot, or get in my car, I will be looking for my rock.

I just know it.

Just as sucky...

as Bootsy being MIA...

is that one of the deep-blue, heart-shaped sapphires that flanked the diamond of the ring that Hunny gave me is MIA!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mikey2 and I were talking about the ring he's going to buy me (if his Mom thinks it's good enough for me) and I looked down at my perfect, beautiful ring from Hunny and *ACK!* missing stone! Upon closer inspection, it looks like one of the prongy-thingies holding the stone in broke off & bye-bye rock. I thought platinum wasn't supposed to break, dammit.

I'd have burst into tears had my boss not been sitting within hearing range in the next office.

It's nowhere on my desk and if it's not in the office, then there is no hope of me ever finding it. Stooopid blue-grey carpet in the office. I didn't even bang or smash my hand on anything, that I can remember.

I'm going to have to stay late until after my boss leaves the office to crawl around on my hands and knees before the cleaning crew comes to vacuum.

[Say a little "hope-Joz-finds-her-rock wish" for me!]

I also miss...

Bootsy...

He's MIA & I don't like it one bit.

Any ideas what might have happened to him?!

I miss Eric...

Eric is on hiatus right now so I don't get to see him at work anymore.

This and this are just for him.

(Let me know your favorites!)

UPDATE:
Eric shares with us his gratitude for today:
I am grateful that I am not nearly as stupid as most people.

I'm reminded on a daily basis, especially by the ones that call me up here at the *other job* that I have a capable mind that I am grateful for.

(See why I miss him?)

Parking-Parking-Parking!

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

After two months of parking on the street, I have a parking spot on the Main Lot!

I was supposed to park in the per diem/Producer's Lot, but it is on the opposite site of the lot that we're on. It was much easier to park on the street, even though I had to compete for space with these gross, grungy buses. (More on that later in another post.)

Starting today, I have my own parking spot on the lot! They're going to paint my name there, too!

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Rejected slogans...

One of the cool things Heather implemented when she jazzed up my blog was the cool little rotating blog title thing on the browser bar. (Sorry, not quite awake yet & definitely not being articulate right now.)

I saw that Annie used the The Advertising Slogan Generator to generate hers so I did the same.

Hit 'refresh' a few times and you'll get to see cool (and semi-cool) sayings like:

-Got jozjozjoz?

-Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's jozjozjoz (my personal favorite)

Here are some of the REJECTED slogans (and why I rejected them)...

- Now with 50% more jozjozjoz
Um, there definitely does not need to be any more of me, I've got enough poundage as it is.

-Taste the jozjozjoz
Um, no tasting of me allowed by anyone other than Hunny.

-No-One Does Chicken Like jozjozjoz
I don't want to be known as the sicko that does chickens. Ew.

-They're Yummy For Your jozjozjoz
I don't like the way you're licking your lips while you say that.

-jozjozjoz Prevents That Sinking Feeling
Don't want to be accused of false advertising here.

-You Press the jozjozjoz, We Do the Rest.
Stay away from me with that garlic press.

-Aaahh, jozjozjoz!
'Nuf said.

-A Finger of jozjozjoz is Just Enough to Give Your Kids a Treat
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Stay away from my fingers!

jozjozjoz.com brings you here!

So, I finally figured out how to forward my jozjozjoz.com domain name to point here.

It's called giving-my-password-to-Mike-and-making-him-do-it.

I'm really not THAT big of a technodunce. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

Anyway, you can now type in jozjozjoz.com to find me. Less keystrokes. Not much else changes.

Color Vision Deficiency Test

Have you ever wondered if you were color-blind?

Here's a cool test you can do to see how you fare...

Thanks to Sonia for this one!

More icy treats

If I'm out and about and have no Melona, I sometimes like to indulge in the occasional ice cream treat.

The illustrious Robyn was talking about the Marble Slab which got Yvonne talking about Cold Stone Creamery.

Better than those, or even Charly Temmel, I LOVE Maggie Moo's. I've only had it when I was living in Washington DC because they hadn't made their way here yet.

Need one on 3rd Street Promenade, dammit.

Can you get a headache from eating too much garlic?

Last night, my Hunny and I were able to spend a few quality hours together in the evening. The plan was originally to go watch the Matrix: Reloaded, but instead, we had dinner and went shopping at Costco. God, we're so boring sometimes.

But any awake-time I get to spend with Hunny is great, mostly because with my job(s) & long commute, I'm always excessively tired & turn rapidly into a babbling idiot in the evenings.

Since I got to leave work early yesterday, we planned to go to dinner at one of our favorite eateries (right across the street from Costco!), Alejo's. They have this signature fresh garlic oil that would ward off vampires for miles. I eat tons of it every time I go and reek for garlic for days. It's a total dive, located in a strip mall next to a donut shop. But the prices are pretty reasonable & you get decent-sized portions. We go there even though they got a "B," which is slightly disconcerting, but as Hunny pointed out, "It's ok. Garlic kills everything!" (I love the Daily Bruin's headline: Alejo’s cuisine stinks thanks to the goodness of garlic)

After we finished up at Costco, Hunny sat in bed reading the "Trading Spaces" Behind the Scenes book that was purchased at Target earlier that day. (I'm going to pretend like Hunny WASN'T looking at Genevieve and Amy Wynn's boobs.) I sat in front my of computer and chatted with Mikey2 and he said that "If it were a Friday night and I were home with my Hunny... I'd wanna cuddle or sumfin."

Well, me too, but we both reeked of garlic. "Get away" were the last words that Hunny had said to me before banishing me out of the bedroom. I fully intended to (and did) get my snugglies a little later when my garlic breath was pointed in the OPPOSITE direction.

I should never eat so much garlic at one sitting. I had the strangest nightmare last night involving being stuck in a baseball stadium and going up and down stairs in a tiny stairwell that was only big enough for one person at a time. And there was some mattress-testing (not THAT, you perv, like seriously, "What do you think of this mattress?") going on at my nightmare-workplace. My nightmare-boss was a crusty, old, white dude who kept asking me to answer the phones in Mandarin.

I'm thinking all that was at least partially garlic-induced. I'm thinking that this headache I'm currently nursing is, too.

I woke up still rank of garlic, but at least I know there was no "unwanted vampirism" (as Mike put it) in my dreams.

I'm going to stink for days.

Blogasm!

Just added blogasm to my blogroll...

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

I was surfin' Ernie's mini-blog (how cool is it that he has a mini blog?!?!) and saw a link to this. Eric Rice rules!

Maybe I need to get myself one of those shirts!

Bored?

Head to Carly's for a short, fun little game she's got going on there.

And she's even offering a prize, too!

Clomp, clomp, clomp!

Our office is located on the top floor of a sound stage.

Evidently, there are guys on the roof doing something today.

All I hear and feel is the *clomp, clomp, clomp!* on the roof. It's disturbing and I wish it'd stop.

Now.

UPDATE:
On the bright side, I just found out that I get to leave at noon (if my work is done)!

On the not-so-bright-side, I also found out that they are having "Aloha Friday" today downstairs. They are all so cute, running around with leis around their necks and drinking pseudo-mai-tais. [sigh.]

No one gave me a lei. :(

I miss out on all the good stuff being up in this office.

Forget ice cream sandwiches...

No choco tacos...

Screw Klondike bars...

My favorite icy delights are Melona bars. (Not to be confused with the Korean porn chick Melona.)

The original 'melon-flavored' (hence the name "Melona") are definitely the best, but the strawberry ones are choice, as well. [Did I really just call something "choice?!"]

Heidi blogged about them a while ago and I'm shamelessly stealing her description of them...
Made in Korea, Melona looks like a pastel-green, single Popsicle. It's made of water, molasses, skim milk powder, sugar and melon flavor. Each 2.46-ounce bar contains 5 grams of fat, 4 of them saturated, and 19 grams of carbohydrate, including 15 grams of sugar. Price is about 79 cents.

Unfortunately, the ice cream truck guy doesn't sell them, so I'm with Yvonne on being an ice-cream-truck-guy-hater.

Can it really be?!

My blog is working AND is looking good?!

Wheeeeeeeee!

I *smoosh* Mike and Heather!

Is this something to be proud of?

Ah, the infamous Spark Slut Test...

How do you fare?

It's ok!

Mike rebuilt my blog for me from ground up last night... he is just sooooo nice to me! Yay!!!

Now we're just testing to see that everything works... we'll make it look nice again LATER!

The verisimilitude of a blog

Could it be?! An errorless blog?

In an attempt to create verisimilitude, in addition to the usual vulgarities, the dialogue is full of street slang.
--Wilborn Hampton, "'Sugar Down Billie Hoak': An Unexpected Spot to Find a Father," New York Times, August 1, 1997

For those plays, Ms. Smith interviewed hundreds of people of different races and ages, somehow managing to internalize their expressions, anger and quirks enough to be able to portray them with astonishing verisimilitude.
--Sarah Boxer, "An Experiment in Artistic Democracy," New York Times, August 7, 2000

Since his death in 1883, the father of modern communism has attracted a legion of biographers, and most have depicted him as not only extremely stormy--vicious towards his enemies, brusquely domineering even among friends--but as the worst kind of arid intellectual, a Teutonic pedant who inhabited a world of theory and who never hesitated to elevate his abstractions above the concerns of common humanity. The old man's massive forehead, penetrating eyes and enormous beard lent verisimilitude to this unappealing portrait.
--"Charm itself," Economist, October 16, 1999

Help from a long time ago

Test

Watch out. Don't freak out if my blog disappears, looks funny, etc, etc.

SIGH.

I don't know what to do.

These blog bloops are pissing me off, and though Mel has been nice enough to offer to host me, I don't want to be a mooch off her any more than I already am to Mike.

The other Mike has been helping me research hosting solutions [Hey! Mike! I remembered it! It's NOT icdadkfj;adsjfd.com!] & I think it just might be time for me to get my own home.

In the meantime, here is a list of the things I remember blogging about before they got deleted. I wish I could recreate them, but alas. This is the best I think we'll have.

-Monday, Monday... exhausted from weekend. Wanted a coffee I.V.

-Something about Dancing Goats/Monkey Doody/Monkey Poop coffee (with links to Adam Chester)

-Eric points out that the coffee should really be "Marsupial Poop" (not monkey), but I said that I knew they weren't actually monkeys, but "Monkey Doody" sounded better than "Marsupial Doody"

-Reason #23241 of why I love Eric: he's a freak and has funny away messages. Oh, and I linked back to our works of art, too.

ARRRRRRRGH!

Not only has my blog been down for most of the day, my last few entries have *POOF!* vanished!

AND THEY WERE DAMN GOOD POSTS, TOO!

Yes, the comments work

Ok, there are some screwy, screwy things going on with my blog.

I know there are abundant error messages, but rest assured, your comments are posted.

They may not be emailed to me like they used to, but they're there.

Recovering from last night...

What a big couple of days in terms of my blogging life.

First off, thanks to gingersmack for the new look. Doesn't she rock!? She stayed up LATE fixing it and when I woke up this morning, there was a wonderful surprise for me!!!

Sorry about the fucked up blank page you were all getting for the last couple of days.

Remember what I was saying about me being a mooch? Evidently Mike's server space was totally full & when MT tried to rebuild it went all kooky.

I get all kinds of scary error messages now when trying to update my blog. I may be forced to move after all.

AND THEN, there was the Meatspace last night. And I'm still recovering from Yvonne spending the night.

But I'm off to work now... more later. :)

ACK!

That's all I can say. At least it's not a blank white page anymore.

Ok off to put Yvonne to bed now...

Finally back in...

If you got annoyed IMs from me (or perhaps saw me bitching on my zonkboard), then you'd know that I accidentally locked myself out of my blog on Thursday night/Friday.

Now that I'm back in, I have to share with you this moment of zen.

Can someone please tell me what the origin of this is???

What kind of doggie's in your window?

As promised, here is a better picture of Terra
Notice the shoe in her mouth. This is Terra's trademark.

I still don't know what kind of doggie she is.

Someone said border collie, but if it is, she's only partly that. Aside from being an annoying, black & white dog, I welcome any guesses as to what kind of doggie she is...

A little birdie...

... got smashed and smashed at me on Mother's Day.

My Brother (a part-time badminton coach) and I played badminton for 2 and a half hours on Mother's Day. He beat my sorry ass into the ground without even breaking a sweat.

I'm so competitive, but so pathetically out of shape. I haven't even held a racquet since high school and yet I was DETERMINED to win. It was a sad, sad sight. Obviously, the outcome of the game was not exactly favorable in my direction.

That same night, I could feel the soreness in my right arm setting in. I knew it was going to be bad when I had a hard time holding my toothbrush up and I couldn't control how much toothpaste was being squeezed out of the tube. There was a giant blob of Crest in the sink when I was done brushing.

Three days later, i'm still sore. In parts of my body I didn't even realize I used while running around trying to whack birds. Ow.

Pathetic beyond words.

I am thinking...

...about going...

...but only if Yvonne is my date. (Girl, you'd *better* find a sitter!)

I'm going straight to hell

I blame you.

When do I get to meet your parents?! [wink!]

I am destined for that ninth level of hell, I know it.

Need tech help

I need to know how to network a PC and a Mac together so they can share a DSL connection. Buying a router is not an option (unless someone wants to send one to me as a tax deduction). Would be best if I could share files. I have a Mac that likes to crash & a new PC that runs XP. I want to move everything on the Mac to the PC, but still have the Mac as another workstation for someone else to do some database work. Help.

I also need to set up a photoblog that can accept comments. (This is not pictures of/by me... this is a favor to someone else.) I will not do a photoblog for myself until I get a digital camera that doesn't suck ass.

And I need to know good, cheap hosting services to handle said photoblog. I also need to know a good, cheap service where I can register a new domain name. Cheap. Good. Cheap.

THANKS!!!

UPDATE: As you can tell, my awesome friend Mike is hosting my blog for free, because he's awesome. I'm trying to figure out a way if I can afford to not be a mooch. If there are good hosting prices, I may migrate to my own URL... just a thought!

I spoke too soon

I guess that fishie reign of terror thing isn't over yet.

I killed one of the bettas (our red one) when I changed his water.

[Sob!]

Eighth Level of Hell...

Don't forget that 8 is a lucky number! And I guess I get to hang with Sonia & Spike!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eighth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

"Naked Ravioli"

I swear to god that the words "Naked Ravioli" just came out of my boss' mouth during a business phone conversation.

I mean, it's a real dish and all, but geez... I don't wanna hear those words at work!

It's not like I work in a restaurant or a strip joint!

I think I'm in love.

I bet these little ones are already gone.

But [swoon!] I'm in love!

"Look at my belly! It's nice and round and snuggle-able!"

"I'm cute and I know it. Take me home with you. Now."

"Check out my awesome paws. I'll grow to be a big, strappin' dog."

"Someday they'll call me Bowser, Hound of the Wild."

"I call this look 'Blue Steel.'"

Synchronized Munching

DOG PILE!!!
(Thanks to Mike for the last few captions.)

Check out the # below if you're around L.A. and want to adopt one.

UPDATE: The pups have all found homes already!

The story of the pups below...

This past weekend my husband found near a trash bin 9 cute puppies that were left to die of starvation. He could not leave them there to die so he brought them home hoping we could find a home for them. They are about two weeks old and I am not sure what type of dog they are, but they are cute black and brown puppies. If you or anyone you know is interested in taking a puppy please let me know. We will be taking care of them for this week only and then taking them to the pound.
-Maria M. Alvarez (in the 626 area code)

I was a good fish mom

Yes, this is SUPPOSED to be blurry. It's called art. Deal with it, or buy me a digital camera.

Yes, lay on the "You go, girl"s! I need high-fives aplenty! Tell me I was an awesome fish mom last night! Go on, you know that I was!

I am happy to announce that last night I was a good fish mom and cleaned the tank. I was disappointed that I had to say bye-bye to one of my fishies, though I'm fairly certain the 'fishie reign of terror' is now officially over.

I even cleaned the homes of all four of the bettas.

Of course, I hadn't cleaned the tank in like a month or so. We'll just pretend like I hadn't been neglecting them this whole time.

And we'll also pretend I also didn't have a sushi/sashimi dinner the same night that I was being such a good fish mom. (I blame Courtney for planting THAT idea into my head!)

I admit it.

There is actually a Hollywood film that I'm excited to see.

It's not X2: X-Men United. (Not that I'm not interested, it's just that I'm not EXCITED.)

It IS the Matrix: Reloaded. I can only imagine how much extra traffic dear krixy is getting to her site (aside from me looking at all the new stuff there, that is).

And I'm going to make it a point to see Better Luck Tomorrow by the end of next week.

I can't believe I might actually spend money to see a movie or two.

Shocking.

The Revolution is ON!

Last Friday night, we saw the one & only Margaret Cho at the Wiltern on her "Revolution" Tour.

I've never seen her more adorable! I vote that she always wear her hair in braided pigtails. I know that OutOutBlogger was there on Saturday night... did she have pigtails that night, too?

Now if you haven't seen this show, this is what you missed...

...Margaret now tackles the axis of evil, her travels through Thailand's red light district, the explosion of child birth, bartering sex for household chores, revolutionizing your self-esteem, the joy of bodily functions, her loser ex-boyfriend, and of course, her world-famous mother, plus much more that cannot be printed... (excerpted from her press release about the tour).

My encounter with Bernie Mac

Today, I was talking to the receptionist in our lobby when Bernie Mac & his entourage showed up to a meeting with the big whigs. Bernie was wearing (I shit you not) a bright mustard-colored suit with a matching hat. He actually looked good, even though he resembled a giant bottle of French's.

Bernie walked right up to me, put his arm around me and said, "Hey there! How are you today?" (because we're best friends and shit, you know).

I put my fake I'm-smiling-even-though-I-don't-like-your-show-that-much-smile on my face and started to shoot the shit with him, since D (the receptionist) was about to get on the phone to let the big cheese know that Bernie was here. Before D had a chance to get a dial tone, the big glass doors to the executive offices swung open and a swarm of people came out with their schmoozy smiles and handshakes.

I got caught in the cross-fire of greetings. Bernie's people were saying hi to the big whigs and vice-versa. And somebody actually GUSHED to Bernie about his current show on Fox (it wasn't me, I swear).

I was too busy trying not to be crushed and trampled in all the oozing and schmoozing.

I'm happy to report, I made it out alive. Whew!

Just one of those days...

I'm grateful that people put up with me... What a pain I am!

Here's to a better day today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From yesterday's chat with dj mofo...

Me: I'm just having one of those days
Her: it will get better
Me: i forgot my lunch, forgot to take lunch early enough so i could leave the lot, missed the lunch truck, didn't have change for the vending machine. And burnt the popcorn I popped because I was too busy watching "people's court" instead of watching my popcorn in the microwave.
Her: i say time to go home
Me: It's not even 2pm here yet!
Her: baaa just go 'i'm not taking it' and leave
Me: If I could, I would!
Me: [SIGH]
Her: what
Me: eating cup noodles ramen. i bet i'll throw up later
Her: nice. why?
Me: i get sick when i eat junk like this
Her: then why are you eating it?
Me: because my popcorn is burnt

I'm a dork.

joz = dork is not at all a new theme here.

But thanks for all the well wishers about my lost wallet.

You'll be happy to know that my wallet was found safe & sound... in my briefcase for work.

I had it with me the whole, entire day while I was fretting and tearing up my car/room, looking for the dang thing. I was just about to start calling my credit card companies when I went to get something else out of my briefcase & POOF! There it was!

I'm a dumbass. But you already knew that.

Send a little wish this way...

We went to Palm Springs for the day yesterday & on the way home, we stopped for gas.

I said I had to pass out and sleep (too tired to drive) so the last thing I remember before switching over to the passenger seat was taking my wallet out & pulling out a $20 for gas.

That was the last time I remember seeing my wallet.

I hope some good samaritan found & is keeping it safe & in tact.

[Sob!]

Have a helping of SARS?

I've been resisting the urge to blog about the war, SARS, & good ol' Dubya (you know, scary things).

Last night, my Uncle G had his 60th birthday party in a Chinese restaurant in Rowland Heights (large Asian population).

The dinner conversation revolved around SARS... what kind of face mask is preferable... how they take your temperature at the airport... how people get it... etc. Not at all appropriate dinner conversation material, IMO.

My other Uncle S is on his way back to Taiwan for a short trip & my Mom and Auntie (S's two younger sisters) nagged him about drinking water, taking vitamins, etc, etc while on his trip. His wife says he'll be quarantined for two weeks after he gets back... he'll be sleeping in the dog house with their golden lab.

But I still like Margaret Cho's line from her show on Friday night.

She'd been in Toronto for her tour and everybody was worried about SARS... Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.

She said that when she got off the plane, people saw her and put on their little face masks. The rest of that bit can't be conveyed via words, but suffice it to say, it was hilarious.

Beat my Battle Imp! (and I know you will!)

Jozjozjoz's Battle Imp is

Alin

Backstabbing: 7 Dodgin': 3 Guts: 1 Magic Mojo: 8 Smackdown: 7

Will your battle imp beat Jozjozjoz's? Enter your name and fight.

Even weirder than jozjozjoz

Weirdness = JOTTO. (As opposed to jozzo, for once)

Though I must admit, I find Penguin Dreams to be quite cute.

Terra is too cute!

So I got home from work Wednesday night & Terra got excited (yes, she piddled) and she RAN to put something in her mouth.

For whatever reason, the closest thing to her was a beer can. She's been running around the yard with a beer can in her mouth.

I wish I had a decent digital camera that didn't take blurry pictures of dogs.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to see that had Terra found my tupperware lids & had chewed a bunch of them into itty-bitty plastic bits. It's a good thing she's cute.

Happy May Day!

My blog idol Joelle said today "Go find a pole to dance around or something. It just occurred to me that strippers celebrate May Day every day."

I realized that I have no acceptable pole around which I can dance.

But then I remembered that Don and Mike had a public service announcement a little while back about this...

Perfect for all you do-it-yourself-ers!

My brain really DID barf, I think...

Ow.

Yesterday it was my back (yes, it still hurts, but it's amazing what 3 Midol will do for you).

Today, I have a sharp-shooting pain in my left ear. I think my brain is overwhelmed and it just had to hurl.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Go Lakers! Go Laker Girl!

Tonight the Lakers are playing another game in their 'Quest for Quatro' and since I might not be able to catch the game, I know Yvonne will be rooting for the Lakers TWICE AS HARD (if that's possible) on my behalf.

Here's a little something for Yvonne.